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[19 May 2011|07:48am]
[ mood | disappointed ]

Not sure how to take this news.... I feel like it's never gonna be my turn :-/ I wish I didn't have to go to work right now

kiss me

[12 Aug 2010|10:13pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Somedays, like today, having a bf sucks... Ughh

kiss me

Whateverrr [27 Apr 2010|10:41pm]

Guys r so stupid. For real. Def need to not deal with stupid ppl anymore.

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kiss me

[19 Feb 2010|11:08pm]

It's just so predictable...

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kisses kiss me

[12 Dec 2009|03:05pm]

I really wanna cry right now :(

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kiss me

Sad [23 Oct 2009|12:51pm]

I'm so sad today... I hate psedo fighting with mike... We aren't really fighting but idk I hate whatever this thing is that we are doing... I guess since we like never fight there's bound to b sometimes where things get weird ... Idk I just hate this

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

kiss me

I miss it being all about me [15 Sep 2009|11:33pm]

Sometimes I feel like no one gets me n it makes me want to crawl up in a ball n stay that way forever... Away from everyone. Idk I just think I'm happier all alone I mean not always but I'm happiest just sitting outside watching the sunset n being alone with my thoughts.. I mean i get bored by myself by at the same time it's nice to just breath n not have to live up to someone else's standards. I always feel like people r judging me. Plus when I'm by myself I can do things that please me, I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. Lately I feel like I'm so unhappy because I always do everything to please everyone else n I'm tired of it. I like being by myself cuz then it's finally about me n no one else. I miss that.

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kiss me

[10 Sep 2009|06:10pm]

Seriously guys r so stupid

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

kiss me

Resentment [01 Sep 2009|12:21am]
[ mood | Depressed ]

Sometimes I really hate my life. It makes me so bitter. It makes me resent the people who get everything. I really resent them.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

kiss me

[18 Aug 2009|04:47pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

So it's been a while since I last updated. My life is completely different. But I guess it's completely different even since this time last year. I'm not sure what is going on in my life. All I know is that I don't know anything. Me n Mike have been together now a little over a year. I really truely do love him. He's such an amazing guy. Everyone always says their boyfriend is the nicest guy they know but once they really get to know him, that's often not the case. Well Mike is the nicest guy I know. And everyone else. I guess it's kinda stupid to be jealous of your own boyfriend. I'm not really jealous, it just bothers me that when people know I'm going out with him, they are all like "omg he is so wonderful, blah blah blah". I guess that makes me kinda selfish but sometimes I wish I wasn't like just beacause I'm going out with him. Ugh Im just being retarded now.

Anyways, I'm so confused about my life. I have no idea where I'm heading. I feel so frustrated lately because I can't seem to get my shit together. I'm constantly broke, but I'm really never spending money. Well on myself. I just dropped like $200 and counting for Mike's bday, like $80 a week in gas, money on car loan, car insurance, cell phone bill, etc. What is gonna happen when I actually want to leave my parents house, I'll never be able to pay rent or a mortgage! I don't know why I'm complaining, just felt like it but I'm about to leave the Long Island Press. So i'll leave with no more complaints and just be happy cuz tonight I'm see my girlies and it is so nice just to hang out with chicks who like me for me. <3333

kiss me

Supaaa happy [27 Jan 2008|05:12pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

oh mannn... crazy friggen weekend!! Friday nite after work i went to the mall with undies selena n mark. It was fun. But i was a lil confused about Mark. Like he confuses me. I kno he doesnt want a gf. I wish he did cuz i like him alot. But like idk... okai so he filled out this survey on myspace where he had to finish the sentance. One of the sentances was "I have come to realize that when I sign onto myspace..." n he finished it with "madd girls hit me up lol". Which okai i guess i could see that cuz hes reallie cute... okai hes supahott buttttt idk im trying not to be jealous i reallie am. N im alooooot better then i was with joe. But still n then there was one that said "I have come to realize that when it comes to love" n he answers "lately its only for my family" n OBVIOUSLY he's not in love with me... i mean we juss started hanging out or watevess... i mean besides the one time in summer where we didnt reallie even talk that much, we juss reallie started talking rite before xmas. But still... idk im juss making a big deal out of nothing. But i juss dont want to get hurt again. And i dont want to be strung along. N i dont want to be just a hook up buddy. Which that i dont think i am cuz i mean he juss took me to applebees earlier n we didnt hook up n if that was all he was after why would we go to lunch n why would we he tell me to call him n why would we go to the mall when obviously there is no chance of us hooking up? Also, why would he come to my house and stay till 6 in the morning n not even try to do anything with me?? All we did was talk. Besides we havent reallie hooked up... depending on the definition of hooking up. Anyways i dont kno why i have to overanalyse everything. I should juss let it lay n see wat happens. I should juss enjoy hanging out with him n not worrie so much about wats gonna happen in the future... ehh watevers... im over it. Oh man school starts on Thursday. n my 21st bday is in 22 daysssssss woot woot wayyyy too excited.

oh that reminds me i went to Myst this friday oh mannn soo much fun i cant wait to go out again. Seriously i wanna go out alot more once i turn 21. I loooove dancing. This reallie tall guy in a trench coat tried to dance with me n of course tricia n selena were juss laughing reallllie hard lmfao but i ran away from him. haha k im peaceingg haha

kiss me

Mark [20 Jan 2008|08:39pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Sooo this thing with Mark has gone more then i thought it would. I like him sooo much. We talk every single day. He calls me to say goodnite to me. He comes over my house to watch american idol with me. He tells me to say hi to my parents for him. He takes me out to dinner. He brings me over to his friends house. He texted me the other day n goes "how is ur bday and valentines day gonna be in the same month?" which means i guess that we r doing something for valentine's day. Idk... undies tells me he talks about me alllll the time at work.

Last nite was crazy. We went to dinner at Applebees n then we went to his friend Ray's house. I met all his friends who are supppernice. I had such a good time. His friend chris is absolutely nutzo ((yes i picked up that word from mark haha)). He other friend aly is madd chill n we were talking all nite. I kno im gonna like hanging out with her already. It was so much fun we were juss chillen in ray's basement dancing cuz ray's a dj n he was mixing up some tracks. Okai i was pretty drunk. Well Mark was reallie too drunk to drive home even though ray lives right around the corner from me like 2 min away which is cool. So i called my mom n told her i was staying at Undies house cuz we were drinking n no one was gonna drive home. So me n Mark used the pull out sofa to crash for the nite. He must have told me like 20 times last nite that he reallie liked me. N then he kept telling me how cute i was. Man i reallie like him too. Like alot alot alot. I barely got any sleep n i had to wake mark up at 8 cuz i had work at 9. Lol today was the worst day at workk ever i was sooo tired and hung over n i felt so sick. But Adam was there so that was awsome. Adam is seriously such a nice guy. I'm so glad he works with me cuz he is the coolest manager there. I told him if he left old navy i was leaving too. LoL.

Annnnyways...back to mark... so he dropped me off in the morning before i had to go to work n he was like "u get off at 5? Call me after u get off". So I was like okaiii n then i went to work. At around 2:00 he texts me n goes "good morning" lol that bishh got to sleep in till 2. pshhh... n then we were texting for a lil while. Then Adam let me go home a few minutes early cuz he could tell i was hurting lol. So when i got home i didnt call Mark rite away. I ate dinner cuz my uncle came over to watch the football game with my dad. Then i get a text from Mark saying "yooo wats up" lol so i kno he likes me cuz i told him i would call him n he texts me... lol then i called him n we talked for like a half hour. He said hes gonna call me in lil while before he goes to bed. Okai we deff act like bf n gf. Idk... like i kno he doesnt want to rush into anything but... idk... i feel like we are deff in something. Idk.... i like him sooo much n he likes me too. Weirdd. Man hes real hotttt too. lol. oh man theres so much more i'd like to say but i can't write it down cuz... well idk i juss cant. watevesss i guess ill juss wait n see wat happens with us.

On another note my 21st bday is coming up omg i cant wait. So I'm renting the limo 2morrow i think n me, mark, tricia, selena, undies, kristen, mike n possibly jeff r gonna go into the city n see a comedy club. Oh man i cant wait... im the youngest of all my friends. Marks like "turn 21 already so we can go out!" n im like im trying lol... hes like oh man ur madd chill when u turn 21 ur coming out with us every saturday lol... but maybe not every saturday cuz i like hanging out with my friends too... i dont want to ditch my friends juss cuz im sorta kinda with mark or watever it is that we are. ahhh this post is long enuff n i havent even talked about the one thing i reallie want to but i juss cant. Not yet. ughhh okai wateversss im gonna try to get to bed since ive been up for practically 48 hours. lol n i have work 2mrrow morning kk niteeee

kiss me

2007 [04 Jan 2008|08:02am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Soooo... since i last updated sooo much has happened. Like I reallie like where my life is going now. So I went on that date with that guy Trevor. He was reallie nice but I felt no spark. So I come home from my date n go online and Mark IM's me. Like, we had been kinda flirting... well idk if you wanna call flirting... we were talking thru myspace messages n then he was like here's my sn you should IM me sometime. N then I gave him my sn. Anyways, he IM'd me n were were talking for a lil while. N then he was saying how his friends were gay cuz they canceled out on him last minute so i was like oooh im going to undies house soon if u have nothing to do u should call him and come over or sumthing. So he was like yah I'll prob do that. So by then Selena called me n told me to come over so i told Mark bye n he was like ill prob see u later.

So anyways me, selena, tricia n undies chill for a lil while. Then Mark come over and we all go over to Mike's house. It was fun. We were juss chilling for a lil while. Me n Mark talking a little but it was all innocent. Then we all went home n Mark IM'd me n we talked for a lil while on the comp. It was all pretty innocent. Anyways so he said he was gonna go to Undies for New Years Eve cuz the party he was supposed to go to was canceled or something. But then the day be4 New Years Eve, he IM'd me and said the party was back on so he was gonna go there. I was kinda disapointed but then he was like u guys are all getting drunk phone calls. I was like haha okay n then he's like i dont have ur number what is it... haha sly way of asking.

So then flash foward to New Years Eve. I was a lil sad he wasnt coming but i was like hey watever im still gonna have fun. And omg was it fun... i kinda got a lil drunk but watever i remember almost everything that happened. Almost. So Undies goes "Marks coming over" n i was like no he's not cuz that party was back on. N he goes "No he juss texted me n told me the party was lame n he was gonna be here be4 12:00." n i was like oooh... so then i get a text message from Mark saying "are u hammered yet?" n i was like "a lil r u?" n hes liek "yah but Im coming over ill be there be4 12" so i was like cool i cant wait. Then i get another text message from him saying "I just got my keys taken away" so i text him back n say "oh so ur stay there then?" n rite after that he calls me. He says that hes def coming but his friends want him to sober up a lil before he drives so he wont make it be4 12 but he will be there after. Okai watever so we bang our pots at 12:00 and it was sooo much fun i reallie love my friends sooo much. Then he calls me to wish me a happy new year. That was cute.

So anyways i have to go to work soon so ill try to make this hurry up. Mark comes over n at first we dont reallie talk alot. But then i was on the bed sitting up n he goes that bed looks reallie comfortable... n i was like it is come sit down. Haha so then he says "I think im gonna" and plots down face first on the bed. After a few minutes he pulls me down so im like laying kinda on him. N we stayed that way for a lil while. He was kinda rubbing his thumb up and down my arm too. N friggen Tricia n Selena were making kissy faces at me n tricia was doing the "makin da babies" thing. Omg... so around 3 30 everyone started leaving but i was sleeping over Undies house on the air mattress. Undies was like "Mark r u sleeping over?" n Mark was like "yahh im too drunk to drive, I'll share the air mattress with dana" n then he looks at me n goes "right?" so im like prob beat red n im like "Yeahhh!" haha so we get in the bed n we were talking for a lil while n i was in the middle of laughing at something n he completely full on starts making out with me. I was a lil surprised but i started kissing him back. Hes a pretty good kisser. We were making out for a while n then some other things were said n im not gonna get into it here but we started talking. n he was like "dana ur a real cool girl. I like you" n i was like "Yahh i like you too". N he was like cuddling with me all nite. It was sooo cute. In the middle of the nite we kinda drifted away n then i guess he woke up and grabbed me again and hugged me tighter. That was the best part. So i dont kno wat is gonna happen with us. At this point I don't care. If something happens thats great, if it doesn't that's fine too. ugh i wanted to write more but i have to go to work so ill write the rest laterrr

kiss me

Trevor [27 Dec 2007|11:02pm]
[ mood | guilty ]

So that guy Trevor who i met at old navy actually called me tonite. Weird lol i didn't think he was gonna call me. We talked for like an hour. He seems nice. I don't remember what he looks like. lol but we have a date on saturday. At Dave and Busters. I mean I'm not looking for anything serious but eh who knows. I mean I'm still like in love with Tyler. But with him it's different. I'm so confused about him. Like all day Sat i felt like he liked me. Sunday he was still giving me signals but kinda mixed. N then xmas eve once again he was giving me mixed signals. But then on wed, it was weird we didnt reallie talk. I mean i get shy around him. N i don't reallie get shy around guys. Like I need him to talk to me first. Ughhh i dont kno. All i kno is if he came up to me n told me that he liked me i would drop all this shyt with all the guys im kinda seeing. Well i mean im juss dating around not having anything serious juss seeing wats out there. But if i knew for a fact he liked me i would stop all that. But i keep going from guy to guy trying to get over Tyler. I don't even kno why i like him. I mean hes soo nice n hes cute but i cant even tell you what about him that makes me melt. Okai i got kinda pissed on wed cuz he didnt even say bye to me he juss walked rite past me without saying bye. N i was like okai watever if he's gonna be like that then wateves i can do better. But then only like 20 mins later i was thinking about him again. Sal said he though that Tyler liked me. But what does Sal kno? Ughh... so Trevor i guess seems nice... ughh i dont kno. N i saw Nick yesterday. So i deff think he was talking trash about me but whatever. I guess i kinda deserve it but okai at the same time, I gave him so many chances. After being blown off so often i kinda gave up. Besides hes going away to college n i juss dont do long distance relationships. He was too young anyways which wasnt his fault but i juss don't want to do younger anymore. Obviously i like older, Trevor and Tyler are both older then me... much older then me lol... Whatever im gonna be 21 soon so i dont even care. Besides once i get out of college i want to get married and have kids. I mean not rite away but I want something serious. N then there's Mark. lol ive kinda been flirting with him thru Myspace. Like i think hes cute n the few times we hung out i had fun with him. He dances and i like that n i kno he thinks im hott cuz selena n tricia told me he said i was. He very italian. lol italians r cuties although i guess im a suker for european guys... cough cough tyler lmfao... ughh im not gonna see him for a while. I dont even kno when... maybe news years for a few min. It sucks cuz when he works im off n then when im working he's off... ugh our work schedules dont work out for us. I miss him. I should reallie get over him especially cuz i have like 3 dates lined up this week although i think im juss gonna go out with Trevor cuz im reallie not into Jeff or Justin. Oh and Mark is hott but he kinda has a gf... kinda im not reallie sure what they are but im not sure i wanna get in the middle of that. so for now it looks like trevor is the only reallie datable guy. Even though my heart only wants Tyler. But watever maybe ill like Trevor more then Tyler when i hang out with him... even though i doubt it... lol anyways... im gonna go to bed cuz i have work at 9 00 2morrow.

kiss me

Tyler... once again [24 Dec 2007|10:50pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Okai so this weekend made me sooo confused. Saturday I saw Tyler like all day. And i reallie felt like he liked me. I dont kno. Like he was being so sweet to me all day. We went out to lunch again. And he turns to me n goes "what do u want" n im like "I dont kno" n he's like "I'm paying" n im like "ummm no ur deff not" n he says "I owe you" n im like "for what" n he says "for last weekend" n im like "u paid at the diner for that. You don't owe me anything". Ughh theres so much more but if i write it down i feel stupid. Cuz like he touches my head and sat nite he came behind me n grabed my arms n pinned me back... n i was so excited because i never reallie see him touch any other girls like that. but then he pat tina on the head n im like okai i guess he doesnt juss do it to me. But then sat nite, me, him, maria, n sal were sitting around eating and Tyler says "hows ur man?" n me juss playing around goes "which one?" n then he was like "the one u gave ur number to" n sal goes "did u call him?" n im like "nooo i think he may be too old for me". N then Tyler says "No, u need an older guy." n then sal agrees with him n i say "I kno i reallie do need an older man. Im done with young guys". N then Tyler agrees with me. N then he says "Sal, lets go find us some younger women". So he tells me i should go out with an older guy n that he wants a younger girl. I'm probably making something out of nothing but idk that seems like he is hinting something. Hes prob not. ughh i need to get over him. Maria tells me that he's not good for me. He's still not over his ex n it has been 3 years. Im pretty sure im over my ex n it has only been 3 months... granted we weren't engaged to be married but still. I mean sometimes i get upset thinking about it but if i saw him i wouldnt hide and freak out over it the way he freaked out when he saw his ex. Ughh... why do i always go for the wrong guys? Honestly, I don't want anybody but him though. I mean im attracted to guys n i deff flirt... ALOT. n i love the fact that all these guys like me n all the guys be blowing up my fone telling me how cute i am but i would give up all that to be with him. I dont even kno why. N then Sunday he was telling me n Maria that we make his nite n that he reallie likes hanging out with us. Sometimes I think he likes Maria. I mean i kno shed never go for him even if she didnt have tim. But... oh idk. Oh, and Sat i gave Maria her xmas gift which was tickets to see the lion king on broadway. N then Maria told Tyler what I got her n she is like "Isnt Dana the best?" n then Tyler goes, totally serious "Yeah she reallie is. Dana that is so nice of you" n i was like "ur just playing with me i think ur making fun of me" n he was like totally serious "No your reallie such a good person" oh idk im too confused rite now. I wish i could just ask him or tell him how i feel but im too scared to do that. ughhh... whatever ill see him on wed for a little while though i dont kno why i care... i kinda have a date with jeff on sat... hmmm this is not good. ugh i need to go to bed cuz im feeling so confused rite now. Merry christmassss

kiss me

Today [21 Dec 2007|12:07am]
[ mood | excited ]

So today was not bad. It was kinda boring until i went into old navy n my customer totally asked me on a date lol!!! I was ringing up this guy who was pretty cute might i say... n he goes "can i ask u a personal question?" n i say yes thinking he's gonna ask me something about like what size i wear or something clothing related. He goes "Do you have a boyfriend?" n i juss started laughing. I was like no... n he's like "what's a pretty girl like you doing without a bf?" n i just kept laughing. N Yves was listening to the whole convo. So the guy goes "Would you want to go out on a date sometime?" n Yves pops in and goes "ooh Dana say yes!" n of course i started laughing n prob turned bright red. I go to the guy "how old are you?" n he goes "28" n im like "Im only 20" n he says "well u must think im over the hill" n i got "no way!" of course im thinking about how im in love with tyler n hes even older then 28... so 28 is deff not old haha... n then he goes "well lemme give u my number n u can call me if you wanna go out sometime" so i say okay n he writes his number down n then i decided to give him my number so i kinda hope he calls me... he was reallie cute. His name is Trevor which is so funny cuz thats a similar name to Tyler, they are both around the same age, n i met them both at old navy. oh boy... haha... but i reallie do hope he calls me cuz he was reallie cute n i deff would hang out with him...

Even though Im still in love with Tyler. Ugh... I wish i could be with Tyler. But I can't. So im gonna try to move on. Even though I kno the moment I see him I'm gonna fall back in love with him. I dont even kno wat it is about him. I mean he's cute but he's not like the hottest guy in the world. I reallie dont kno wat it is about him. ughhh... but im not gonna lie. I flirt with alooooot of guys. I mean i dont do anything with them but sometimes i feel kinda slutty. Even though i kno im not. Its just that feeling ugly for like 5 years, no body liked me n now all these guys are giving me attention. Honestly, I like it. It makes me feel so good. I used to think i was pretty but nothing special. Like I was average looking. But now i feel beautiful cuz all the guys tell me that i am n i kno i shouldn't depend my happiness on what ppl think about me but i dont care. The fact that guys find me attractive makes me feel more attractive. It makes me realize that i really am pretty and i have a fun personality that people like to be around. Okai i totally sound cocky im not trying to sound like that i juss i dont kno... im so happy with my life rite now.

Well Im happy with mostly everything except my friendship with Maria. Lately there is def something wrong with us. She like doesn't even talk to me. I don't kno why she is mad at me. I didnt do anything wrong. I invite her to hang out n she doesn't come out. She hangs out with Tim all the time. Which is fine but i don't understand why she's mad at me. I don't even see her for her to be mad at me. Ugh I hate the fact that we arent best friends anymore.

The other thing that I'm not happy with is my Spanish grade. I got my first C. I got a C+ in that class. That's not good at all. But that was the only class i did bad in. I got As in every single other class. That totally sucks cuz that one grade brought my gpa down by alot. Ughh... wateves im gonna try not to let those things bring me down cuz xmas is in 4 dayssss wooot wooot!! anyways i have to wrap presents for 2morrow so im gonna go.

kiss me

omg... i need to get over him... [12 Dec 2007|11:29pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Seriously... i think im in love with tyler. Everytime i see him... i cant stop thinking about him... it does help that he flirts with me. I saw him again today. He flirts with everyone though. But i reallie like him soooo much. I wish i could tell him that. He's such an amazing person. And god when he smiles at me, seriously i think i am going to just melt. I can't wait till sat cuz i will see him for a while. I wish i had the guts to go up to him and say "I think I am falling in love with you". But if he didnt feel the same, I would be sooo hurt. I reallie think about him all the time. I havent felt this way about anyone since joe. My heart beats fast n when he talk to me i get nervous and laugh too loud. I can't look him in the eye which is sooo stupid. Hes so mature but immature at the same time. I love that about him. Everyone thinks im crazy for liking him n they say he's too old for me. But i dont care. I never thought that I would go for someone like him. But I dont kno.

On another note, school is almost over... thank the lord. One more final tomorrow and one more paper to finish. Then its saturday and i see tylerrr!! :) ::sigh:: I wonder what it would be like to be in his arms. I'm such a sap but hes pretty romantic n i fall for that so easily. Ughhhh i need to get to bed cuz i have work all day n then my spanish final n then i have to finish my sociology essay... ughhh booo lol only two more daysss!!!

Closed off from love, I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough and it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they say

kiss me

This weekend [09 Dec 2007|06:17pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

So this week was quite crazy as most of my weekends have become lately. Friday I went to school then the law firm then old navy then Mcdonalds with Linette, Caitlin and Andre. We wound up going to like 3 different McDonalds cuz only the Drive thrus were open so we wound up just going there n eating in my car lol. The best part is when they forgot Linette's fries so we walked up to the drive thru n knocked on the window. haha fun times.

Sat morning i went shopping with dan who im gonna stop being friends with ((more about that later)). We saw Mark there. I like him hes a nice guy. After that I went to Tricias for a little while n we juss bs'd in her room. That was fun too lol... then i went into work which i was pissed i was closing cuz i wasnt supposed to close but Joe couldnt close so i got stuck closing. But Yolanda was sucking up to me cuz she knew i was doing her a big favor n she let me out as soon as the drawers were done so that was good. Then I went to Mike's house which was one the funnest nights ive had in a looooong time. When i got there Undies, Mike n Jeff were all already wasted. We had some laughs n then we decided to go to the Godfather diner. Well we were taking 2 cars because there was seven of us so me n tricia got in her car n selena n tina got in selena's car n the three boys were talking on mikes front lawn. So after waiting for 10 min i go to tricia "I'm going to find out what the hell they are doing". So i go up to them n im like "What are you boys doing??? I'm hungry lets get food!" n undies looks at me n then turns to mike n goes "ya kno dana is soooo cute. Everytime I see her I think shes sooo cute." n then Mike goes "Yah i kno wat u mean. Shes sooo cute." N Im like "Me?!?" n Undies goes "Yeah! I just want to take my hand and slap her face" n i was like "What?!?!?" n Jeff goes "I want to do something else with her face but not slap it. At least not with my hand." n im like omg jeffff... n then mike starts talking to me hes like "Yeah Dana ur reallie prettty i think ur a hott mama" lol n apparently jeff was saying something reallie dirty about me cuz then i hear undies go "N the funnie thing is she doesnt even kno whats going on rite now" n i turn to undies n go "what r u talking about" n he goes "nothinggg..." n jeff goes "Oh we werent saying anything dirty about u..." in a guilty way. So i was liek comeeee on lets go so then mike goes ill come with u in tricias car n jeff wound up not going. Undies was like "Mike come in selenas car" n Mike was like "Sry i already commited to go with Dana". So then i said to Mike "do you wanna go in the front or the back" n he was like "I want to sit in the front with you" haha n then he opened the front door so i assumed he was going in the front n i started to go in the back n he was like "No go in the front im opening the door for you". Aweee hes so sweet. Mike is reallie sweet. n then at the diner omg i never laughed so hard. Its too much to explain n it was one of those had to be there things. But anyways to make a long story short... i wound up not getting home till 4 00 in the morning when i had work at 11... not my brightest idea ever.

And then I saw Tyler again today. God i like him sooo much. I was finally starting to get over him. N then i saw him n i fell in love with him all over again. This is one of those crushes that is not gonna go away. Unless i stay away from him. Which Im gonna try to do. I mean its hard but its not that hard cuz i barely see him anyway but like when i have to see him im gonna try not to reallie talk to him. Today I didnt reallie talk to him but god when i do talk to him i cant help but fall for him again. Today he was like kidding with me n said "you kno if i didnt have to i wouldnt be nice to you. Its only cuz i have to be nice to you" n i was like "of course cuz ur a mean person" n then i did something i forget wat n he goes to me seriously "You kno dana sometimes you reallie make me proud". I wanted to melt. N then he smiled at me. Like i fall in love with that smile everytime i see it. N then when i saw him a little bit later he was like "hey hey hey" in that cute way he always says it. n then he deff looked at me for longer then the normal second u look at someone ur juss saying hi to in passing. I dont kno maybe im reading into it but god i want him so much. Also when he was leaving he was like "bye dana hopefully ill see you soon" but he said it that way he always says it before we leave like he doesnt want to leave... like he wants to say something more to me. God Im prob making this up. I dont kno. All i kno is i want him. This crush is sooo deep. Why is it everytime I see him i fall in love with him all over again. Im gonna try to get over him cuz i have to. I dont have a choice. Nothing can ever happen between us. But god i want it to so bad. All i do is think about him. Every single day. He's the first thing I think of when I wake up n the last thing I think about be4 i go to bed. Im so stupid. I wont see him again till sat. Maybe thats a good thing.... ugh im done writing i should be studying for my final. Im gonna go try to study n stop thinking about "Tyler"

kiss me

[29 Nov 2007|07:10am]
oooh i love himmmm :)
kiss me

Another Night... [25 Nov 2007|01:07am]
[ mood | happy ]

So i saw him again tonite. At first i was so upset cuz of this whole thing dan said to me about "Tyler" ((Im juss gonna call him that since no one can kno who he reallie is)). Like about how he's looking for a gf but i didnt feel i fit the description. Wateves its a long story. N when i got there he was being like standoffish n not reallie talking to me which made me upset n i vowed to get over him. But as the night progressed we started talking more and more. He was flirting a lil with me. But then before he left we got a chance to be alone n he reallie opened up to me. He told me something n i was sooo shocked and so sad. He's such an amazing guy. He reallie made me realize that juss cuz someone seems like such a jokester on the outside does not mean they cant be serious or have serious problems. Even though i dont kno why this surprises me cuz that is exactly how i am. I act like everything is a big joke and never let anything get to me but i have such a serious side that i usually only let out when im alone. but anyways we talked about his problems... we talked about family, friends, jobs, past relationships... we also talked about how he almost got married n two weeks before the wedding she left him. Hes still in love with her. But he will never go back with her. He also said that hes happy with his life but he reallie wants to be happy in love. God, i want that too. N before he left he was saying how he wishes we could spend more time together because he really likes me and im reallie cool. I wish we could spend more time together too. Ill see him tomorrow for a lil while n then i wont see him again till maybe the weekend. God i like him sooooo much. I havent felt this way since i started going out with joe. Even the whole nick thing... i liked him alot but nothing like this. "Tyler" has such beautiful eyes and when he smiles i just want to... ugh i dont kno... i juss love his smile. N he is deff not a jerk even though he plays it off to be. I dont even kno like sometimes i think he likes me more then juss a friend, and sometimes i dont kno if he does. I wish i could be with him cuz im falling soooo deep... ughh im soooo tired so im gonna go bed... the faster i go to sleep the faster i will wake up and go and see him :) oh ps. he looks realllllie good in blue.

i've fallen hard.
he's so cute when he smiles.

kiss me

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